Subject: Resume: George W. Bush

George W. Bush
The White House, USA

Objective

To retain my current position as President of the United States.


Past Work Experience

I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.

I produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.

I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; the company
went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took
land using taxpayer money.

With my father's help and name, I was elected Governor of Texas.

Accomplishments as Governor

I changed pollution laws in favor of the power and oil companies and
made Texas the most polluted state in the Union.

I replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog-ridden city in
America.

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions
in borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any Governor in American
history.

I became U.S. President after losing the popular vote by over 500,000
votes with the help of major Enron money and my father's appointments to the
Supreme Court.


Accomplishments as President

Summary:

I attacked and overtook two countries.

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

I entered office with the strongest economy in U.S. history and have
turned every economic category downward -- in less than two years.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the
U.S. stock market.

I have removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any
president in U.S. history.

My record for environmental issues is the least of my concerns.


Details:

I am the first president in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal
record.

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one year
period.

After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst
security failure in U.S. history.

I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases.

I am the first president in U.S. hstory to have almost all 50 states of
the Union simultaneously suffer massive financial crises.

In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs,
and that trend continues every month.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any
12-month period.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to
intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history and refused
to use national reserves as past presidents have done.

I have made my presidency the most secretive and unaccountable of any in
U.S. history.

I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of
congressional oversight, than any presidential administration in U.S.
history.

I set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any
president since the advent of television.

I signed more laws and executive orders effectively amending or ignoring
the Constitution than any president in U.S. history.

I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most
corporate campaign donations.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S.
president.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends
(Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation), presided over the
largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history. My political party used the
Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the
U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market
in any country in history.

I have spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in
U.S. history.

I am proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any
administration in U.S. history.

My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker
named after her.

I appointed more convicted criminals to my administration than any other
president in U.S. history.

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded
government contracts.

I set an all-time record for the number of administration appointees who
violated U.S. law by not selling their huge personal investments in
corporations bidding for U.S. contracts.

I created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history
of the United States.

I cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty
benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in war time.

In the 18 months following the World Trade Center attack, I successfully
prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in
the history of the United States.

I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center
attacks and, less than a year later, made the U.S. the most resented
country in the world, possibly the largest failure of diplomacy in world
history.

I set the all-time record for most people worldwide (15 million) to
simultaneously protest me in public venues, shattering the record for
protest against any person in the history of mankind.

I dissolved more international treaties than any president in U.S.
history.

I am the first president in U.S. history to order a pre-emptive attack
and the military occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the
will of the United Nations and the world community.

I am the first president in U.S. history to have the United Nations
remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

I am the first president in U.S. history to have the United Nations
remove the U.S. from the Elections Monitoring Board.

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war"
(detainees), thereby refusing to abide by the Geneva Convention.

I am the first president in history to refuse United Nations election
inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).

I support development of a "Tactical Bunker Buster" nuke, a WMD.

I am allowing our troops to be killed, under the lie of Saddam's
procurement of Yellow Cake Nuke WMD components, and have blamed the lie on our British friends.

I am working actively on a policy of "disengagement," creating the most
hostile Israeli-Palestinian relations in at least 30 years.

> I am the first president in U.S. history to have a majority of Europeans
(71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and
security.

I am the first U.S. president in history to have the people of South
Korea more threatened by the U.S. than by their immediate neighbor, North
Korea.

I failed to fulfill my pledge to capture Osama Bin Laden, dead or alive.

I failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders
of our country at the U.S. Capitol Building. Even after 18 months, I have
no leads and no credible suspects.

In a little over two years, I have created the most divided country in
decades, possibly the most divided since the Civil War.


Records and References

I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine. My Texas
driving record has been erased and is not available.

I was AWOL from the National Guard.

I refuse to take a drug test or answer any questions about drug use.

All records of my tenure as Governor of Texas are now in my father's
library -- sealed and unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into insider trading or bankrupt
companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice President,
attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for
public review.


~ Please consider my experience when voting in 2004. ~

Follow Ups:

• Re: Let's consider these facts les 14:50:38 9/11/2003 (0)
• Re: Let's consider this troll GVB 18:48:17 9/10/2003 (0)